We all regret some things. One thing more than the other.
But why? Why do we hold on to the things we can’t control anymore? Why do we keep thinking about certain things we wish we wouldn't have said, wouldn't have done? Or would have said and done? We already know we can’t change anything about it . I know I kept holding on to the way I said some things. Hoping I would get a chance to change it. Hoping that it was all just a dream. So what’s the point? Why do we feel like we need to remember the things we did ‘wrong’ in the past? We know that we have no control over the past, so why do we keep thinking about it as if we can change something? I’m good at holding on to things I know I should let go off. I mostly regretted saying certain things. Or not saying things. So I started thinking twice before I opened my mouth to speak. That led to over thinking. I would beat myself up over it if I had said something wrong. Even if the one I spoke to didn't take it the way I actually meant it. Beating myself up over those things made me unhappy. I didn't want to rub people the wrong way but because I was so focused on what I didn't want, I stopped doing what I did want. One day I told myself to just stop. Stop over thinking what you want to say. Stop over thinking every step you take. Stop beating yourself up for making a mistake. Stop beating yourself up for how others react to you. Stop making you feel so bad. Stop holding on to things you can’t control! I had to come to the realization that I wasn't perfect. I’m still a human being and it doesn't matter how hard I try, I can’t change that about myself. I can’t be perfect, no matter how much I want to be. So letting go is the only way. The thought of letting go terrified me. I had to start by letting go of my fear. I was scared to fail. Scared that if I wouldn't try to be perfect, I wouldn't be good enough. I had to let go of that fear. That also meant that I had to start trusting myself for what I was worth. That’s probably the hardest thing. To trust your worth. It won’t come out of nowhere. It will take a lot of work from deep within. Aside from that you have to start looking forward. You’ll have to toss your rear view mirror out of the window and look ahead. When you have accepted that you can’t do anything about the past, it will be a lot easier to let it go. All I can do now, is choose my words carefully and think about the consequences of my actions before I do something. Off course I think of some of the things I said sometimes and I need to tell myself that I can’t change it anymore. So I have to let it go. It took some time, but it works. Thinking of all the things that you did wrong in the past isn't going to make anything better. It’s not going to help you in any way either. If you have to think about it, think about how to do it better next time. After that, let it go. It’s the only way. If you keep holding on to all those things you did in the past, you’re going to be more focused on the past and the things you have no control over instead of the present and the things you can control. And because you will be focused on the past you will do things in the present which you will regret in the future. Are you or were you over thinking every step you take/took or word you say/said? How did you let go of the things you regretted? Let me know what you think in the comments.
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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