When something that's really good happens in my life I want to tell everyone about it. I get over excited and I want to let the world know how happy it makes me.
Sadly, I had to learn (the hard way) that most people don't really care. Some of them will even try to knock you off that cloud that makes you feel so good. I had to learn to not share my successes and wins with most people. I still have to learn. I was such a private person for most of my life that nobody ever knew if things in my life were good or bad. But now that I've knocked down all these walls, I trust easier and because I want everyone around me to succeed, doesn't mean that everyone around me wants to see me succeed. I've had people discouraging me which led to me giving up. I've had people intentionally and unintentionally break my spirit and even talk bad about me to the one I had just started dating, back then. Some people just want more than what others have. Some are just jealous. Some are just filled with hate. First... Don't be one of those people. No matter if you dislike a person, don't ever boycott something that's going to make them happy or successful in life. You want it so why won't the next person deserve that? Second... Be aware of the twisted thoughts someone could have about your success. Be aware that spreading the word could work against you. Know who to trust, share the news with close friends and the family members that support you! Get to know the ones around you! It could make or break you! Keep it to yourself until 'they' can't mess it up anymore. That's what I try to do. That's what I have to learn to do.
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I've spend most of my weekend relaxing, just doing me.
All I really did was listen to music and I finally found a playlist that touches me in a way I can't describe. It makes me smile and I vibe to it like never before. It's not just that playlist. It's me. I have peace in my head. I finally erased every sign of my ex out of my house and my house is finally becoming my home again. It took a while but I feel great! My house is exactly that... Mine. I'm loving life again, I have my best friends near me who make me love life even more and that and the perfect playlist made my weekend the best in a while. That inner peace didn't just happen. It was something I was striving for and I didn't even notice I reached that level of happiness until I thought about my day. I went to bed with a smile and I woke up with a smile. Being happy isn't something that comes from the outside. It doesn't come with good friends. It doesn't come after a night out. It doesn't come after a good movie or anything. I starts within. Change the way you think. Get rid of the negativity. Smile more. Live larger, stop telling yourself that certain things are impossible. Make your day the best day you can possibly have. Having a positive look on life helps. Focusing on the good instead of the bad, helps! Make yourself happy. This is coming from someone who battled depression and anxiety for years, if not all of my life. I'm turning 24 and I know I've never felt this great in my entire life. I'm having fun without even doing much. Me and my best friend call every day. We talk about everything and nothing. She contributes to me being happy. Surround yourself with people who help you see the good in life. Get close to those who help you laugh after a long day. Find those that change your anger into happiness. Smile more. Force yourself to smile. Even if it's to a stranger as you walk by. The more you smile, the better you will feel. If you're battling depression right now, this might seem impossible. But know that it is possible. Know that you are not the depression you're dealing with. You are a vibrant person, you just haven't found your inner light. Once you do, you can look for a match and light that fire that makes you happy and makes you feel great. Surround yourself with people who accept you for the person you truly are instead of the person you're pretending to be to fit it or to be accepted. I'm telling you to surround yourself with good friends but realize that they are not in control of who you are and what you feel. Realize that you and only you can change you and the way you think. It starts within you. Make it your one and only goal to feel better. Make everyday even better than the day before. I promise you that eventually you will feel good about yourself and about your life. My life isn't perfect, not at all. but I know that I am in control and when I don't like the people I'm surrounded with, I leave and find people who I do feel comfortable around. There are not many people who have seen me. I've always told myself to hold back. To not show everything of me. I'm learning to show people who I am, regardless of their reaction. Why? Their reaction doesn't matter anymore! Who I am today, is exactly who I need to be. Who you are today, is exactly who you need to be, for now. Work on being a little better tomorrow. It's a never ending battle but it's the only one that's worth it! Trust me when I say this. It's worth it. Go and find your light! Sometimes I dream,
I dream that I'm free. Like a bird with my arms spread wide, flying high above those clouds that make the blue skies grey. Sometimes I dream, I dream that I'm free. Like a bird, soaring through the sky. No worries, no fear, just me and the wind that carries me. I hope to one day be free; feel free. I hope to one day be fearless and without worry. I hope to one day be strong enough to carry myself, no longer depending on the wind. I hope and I dream, but I never wish. I don't want a miracle to strengthen me. I hope to grow, each day, little by little until I am free. Free from worry and free from fear. Free from doubt and free from old wounds. When I dream, I dream that I'm free. I dream that I'm strong. Strong like a soldier, pushing through worry and fear and doubt and the pain caused by old wounds. I believe that one day, I'll be free. Free from everything that was once holding me down; keeping me from moving on. I know that one day, one day I'll be free. Being who only I can be, Me! You are unique and smart en everything about you matters. Everything about you deserves recognition. But just think about who you need recognition from...
Do you want it from your best friend or boy/girlfriend or a husband or a wife? Maybe a parent or maybe just someone you're trying to impress? They can never give you the feeling you're looking for! You need to turn to yourself to recognize your worth and importance. If you don't know you're own value you're leaving it up to someone who doesn't know you as well as you do to determine your worth. What you deserve... No! You need to figure that out yourself because once that person doesn't feel like you deserve the most anymore, your fake worth will drop and once it's convenient for them to treat you right again, it will go up. If you determine your own worth you will always be in charge of what people can do or say to you. Of course, some will still cross that line but then it's up to you to let them know how you feel about it. Once you know what you do and do not want you'll stop letting people treat you with disrespect. You'll stop letting people walk over you! Be the one in charge. For your own good. Talk to me in the comments or send me an email. Orr talk to me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. It might take some time to get to know yourself and to figure out what you're willing to accept but once you did, you'll feel so much stronger! |
AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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