Did you sit down and think about the ten things you like about yourself? How far did you come?
To be really honest with you, I didn’t sit down to think about it. I thought about it, but it hurt that I couldn’t come up with 10 things. In my mind I had at least 6 but when I wanted to write them down I wasn’t so convinced that there was something that should be on that list. Things you like about yourself don’t have to be huge. It can be something very small. Maybe you like your sense of style. Or how good you are at doing your make up in the morning. Maybe you like the way you cook. Maybe you’re proud of how good you look in your selfies. Anything goes. I’m making this list right now and I am well aware that this isn’t my list. So, I decided to stop thinking and just make that list. No explaining, no excuses, just write down whatever comes to mind. Ten things I like about myself: - I am creative. - I’m a fast learner. - I have a big heart, I’m caring and selfless - I forgive easily - I’m strong. - I’m kind. - Helping others makes me happy. - I’m a good mother. - I’m a good amateur baker - I’m proud of how I pushed/I’m pushing myself to grow to become a better person. I stopped thinking. I stopped over thinking. I had to stop thinking before I could write these things down. Finding those 10 things will make you feel better. Do this for YOU. You will benefit from this. But no one else can do this for you. So, if you haven’t already. Stop thinking and write down those 10 things you like about yourself. If you can come up with 15, good, keep going. But don’t stop before you reach ten. I noticed last night that it’s easier to make a list in your head. It’s a little harder to say them out loud to yourself. But the hardest part is sharing them with someone. But it’s so much more satisfying after you shared it. If something doesn’t make you at least a little bit uncomfortable, you’re staying in your comfort zone. No matter how cozy your comfort zone is, it’s not a place where you want to be. At least, not for ever. I am rolled up in my blanket like a burrito in my comfort zone. I’m enjoying the coziness but it doesn’t make me happy. A comfort zone isn’t a place where people find happiness. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start making changes. Making this list will make you uncomfortable. Now you have two options: 1. Stop thinking about it and go back to your comfort zone. 2. Keep going until it becomes comfortable. Believe me, you want to choose option 2. Haven’t you ever picked option one and you couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to choose 2? I know I have, many times. So this time I chose 2. It feels great. Choose to leave that comfort zone, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. Write that list. You are a great person, you just need to start believing in yourself. You need to like yourself and love yourself. Find reasons to be proud of yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you did something you’re proud of. You are your closest friend. Act like it! Have you come up with a list of your own? Would you like to share them? If you haven’t thought of a list yet, take your time to make one. We’re all a work in progress, don’t ever forget that. We’ll be alright. ;)
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Blaming others is easier than taking responsibility.
Knowing that blaming other is easier than taking responsibility had me questioning if it was because of others or if it was me avoiding the fact that I was responsible. I was young, naïve and I listened to what people around me said. I needed confirmation for everything. Not anymore. But there was a time where I would rather not leave the house unless someone had told me how I looked. I was very insecure and I wanted others to help me feel better. As soon as you give others the power to make you feel good about yourself, you instantly give them the power to take that feeling away and make you feel bad about yourself. NO ONE in this world should have that kind of power over you. Not your parents, your siblings, your great aunt or you spouse, your friends… nobody. YOU should make yourself feel good and there’s no reason for you to feel bad about yourself. I bet you can name 10 things you don’t like about yourself. STOP thinking NOW! Instead of going on that road, turn around. Name 10 things you like about yourself. Write it down. It’s hard. It’s a lot harder than those things you don’t like about yourself. But that’s ok. Take your time. Maybe you’ll only get to three without trying. It might even make you feel a little discouraged after a few minutes and you can’t come up with number 6. But I bet that when you think hard enough and you find reason 6, 7 and 8 that it will make you feel even better. Don’t let it stop you. You need to feel good about yourself but you can only do that if you know your strengths and your good qualities. What I’m about to say is a painful truth that I had to learn the hard way. I would rather tell you than let you find out. Because finding out hurts a whole lot more than me telling you. If you don’t like yourself, how will others like you? If you don’t love yourself, how will others? You need to like yourself first and then you need to learn how to love yourself. If you do that, others will like you and others will love you. I let others decide how I felt for a long time. Without realizing it, I let them make me feel less sure about myself than before. I let them take away the last bit of self-esteem I had. I allowed people to make me feel better. I felt like I was on top of the world. Not long after I got kick down to the ground and eventually I felt buried. I wasn’t standing on my feet anymore. I didn’t even know how get up on my… butt. I fell into the arms of someone who knocked me even further down and even that didn’t make me realize what I was doing. I would dress up with the girls and go out, hoping for some random guy to want to dance with me. I needed confirmation. Not anymore. I am the only one who will make me feel good about myself. Notice that I said ‘will’. There are others that can. People whose opinion matters to me. But I don’t want them to. I don’t need them to. I won’t let them. I think that is what I needed to learn. That my opinion matters more when it comes to me and my life. When it comes to how you feel, YOU are the one who has control over it. You can give that control away to the person on your right, but don’t be surprised when they decide to switch lanes in their life and take that control with them. Because most likely, they don’t even know they have that much control over you. The ones that know and still don’t give it back to you are people you shouldn’t want in your life. You need to take responsibility. Be responsible for how good you feel. There’s nothing better than feeling great. But you have to get on top of that mountain. You can’t wait for someone to give you a piggy back ride to the top. And once you’re on top of that mountain, watch your step. Stay there. Stop looking over the edge because you know what’s down there. Nothing you want to go back to, right? I’m not going to ask you what you think this week. I’m not going to ask you anything. But I want you to do something. Write down those 10 things that you like about yourself. Take all the time you need. Maybe you know 3 now and you’ll write down another one tonight or tomorrow. Just get those 10 things. I’m going to do the same thing. If you want to you can share them with me by sending me an email via the contact form or you can write them down in the comments. No negative thoughts allowed! Have fun with it. We’ll be alright ;) For a few weeks I’ve been having a difficult time finding my words. When a conversation is getting to emotional my mind goes blank and even when I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write about, I can’t find a way to put the words in my head down in writing.
I can feel the tears building up and I feel that annoying itch in my nose when you’re about to cry but the tears won’t come. I wish they would so I can get this over with but I’m not sure what ‘this’ is. Maybe, unconsciously I knew these feelings would come and I would have to deal with them and maybe that’s the reason why I’ve been making plans to redecorate every single room in this house. Maybe that’s the reason why I started watching two new TV shows that I’ve been avoiding for months. I started watching the two shows my sister wanted me to watch because she loved them but I just didn’t care about either one of them but now, I’m watching episode back to back before I go to bed. Every moment I have to myself I catch myself opening Netflix. I’m hiding. I’m running from these emotions. But I don’t want that anymore. I’ve learned that dealing with my emotions as soon as they surface feels so much better than dealing with them after a long time. But that’s what I did. I kept my feelings hidden and buried my emotions deep enough that even I would forget they were there. That wasn’t the part that hurt. It was digging and digging until I found every hidden emotion and feeling. I had to cut my old wounds open in order for them to heal properly. That is what hurt the most. Feeling the pain you felt so long ago. Thinking about the things that happened with the same pain you had when you were living in that moment. That is what hurts. I’m not even done with all those hidden emotions, I’d be stupid if I would dig a new hole next to them to hide something else. What’s the point of it anyway? I’ll have to deal with it eventually. Just because it’s hidden doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. It won’t just disappear out of nowhere. I have to make it disappear and the only way I will be able to do that is to deal with it. This, for me, is dealing with it. Thinking about it, writing about it. I have to let myself feel those emotions. Sometimes they make me mad. Sometimes they make me cry. But as long as I’m dealing with it, I feel good. Knowing that I will never have to relive this pain again. How do I know that? Something only hurts when you don’t deal with it. You have to accept what happened. Accept the pain, anger and sadness and every other emotion and feeling it gives you. I still think about my past and what it did to me then, but I’m not mad or sad or in pain. It’s a memory. It’s behind me. It feels great to say that. It’s behind me. It is. Finally. But only because I dealt with the pain, and the anger and the sadness it gave me. Hiding your emotions is just a temporary solution. Sort of. In the end, you’ll have to deal with them. Better now than later, really. Last year I would still get mad at my dad for leaving. I was mad because of how I felt then. That feeling, that anger never left me. Now, I can talk about the whole situation without getting mad at my dad. Without having to fight my tears. Seriously, dealing with it is the only way to leave it behind you. I’m going to stop running and deal with this situation and everything that comes with it. Are you hiding your feelings or emotions? How do you deal with them? Please share your thoughts/experiences in the comments because I would love to know what you think. You can also email me -> fill in the contact form on the contact page. Or talk to me on twitter @uGottaLoveAimee We’ll be alright I feel like I’m standing with my nose against a wall. I can’t see a way around it. I know I have to take a few steps back in order to find a way around, over or through it. As long as I stay this close to this wall I won’t be able to move forward.
Sometimes, in order to move forward we have to take a (few) step(s) back. Taking a step back doesn’t mean you’re failing, even though it might feel like it. I’m at a point where I don’t know what I really want. My heart is trying to pull me towards the left but I know in my head I should go right. I’m good at making things more difficult than they should be. I think, in some way we’re all good at doing that. We keep getting in trouble because of the decisions we made. We’ll just have to make better decisions. If only it was that simple. Well, maybe it can be. If I know that going left will get me in trouble, why do I keep looking left? Why don’t I just turn around completely and run to the right? If I know that going right will be good for me and give me much more joy in the end, even though it might hurt a little now, why do I keep looking for something else? I know I love drama. Not that I want it, or like it, but it is what I know. It’s something I know how to deal with, sort of. I don’t know how to deal with peace. I don’t know how to be happy all the time. For some reason I go back to what I know. I wish I could just erase that part of my past so I can go on and live drama-free but I know that’s not how life works. I can’t just pretend that it never happened. If I would, I would have to pretend I was born this morning. Because there was drama yesterday! I’ll just have to find a way to make sure that tomorrow has less drama than yesterday, and the day after will have even less drama until I’ll live a sort of drama free life. I have to take a step back. What I want to do is take a few weeks off and go on vacation. But that’s not what I’m going to do. I’m done running away from my problems. I want to deal with them and I must say that I feel good about how I’ve been handling things over the last few months. But it’s just getting a little too much right now. I’m tired of not knowing what I want. I know what I should do but listening to your heart is so much easier than listening to your head. Actually I know what I want, but what I want is not what’s good for me and I’m well aware of that. Giving in to what I want would make everything much easier on me, right now. But I know it will make things even more difficult for me tomorrow. I don’t have to take a step back, if I search my mind I already know how to get away from this wall. Just follow my gut. I have to stop looking left and go right. Not tomorrow, not next week, today. Please share your thoughts/experiences in the comments. Or email me: Go to the contact page and fill in the form. Or talk to me on twitter @uGottaLoveAimee We’ll be alright ;) |
AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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