Growing up with one parent on another continent is challenging. You grow up missing a lot.
I guess it must have been more than just challenging for my mom. She had to tell us that, no matter how much we wanted to see daddy, we couldn't. She was the one that had 3 kids on her own. Knowing that, no matter how tired she'd be from work, there wouldn't be a husband at home who could help her get the kids fed and ready for bed. I grew up with a lot of anger towards my dad. That anger turned into hate at some point and it took me a very long time to turn that hate back into anger. After that, I wanted to let go of my anger so I could move on from it. I haven't made peace with it. I don't think I ever will, but I did accept the situation. Now I'm older and I have a kid of my own I started thinking about it. Raising one child by myself is hard enough. I could never really understand how hard it must have been on my mom. My daughter and I went to my aunt's house for the weekend. She has 3 young kids and it finally hit me. Having three kids running around is more than a challenge. Can you imagine having one 15 year old, a 8-year-old and a 3 -year-old who are all angry and don't understand the situation. Who are fighting for moms attention. Seeing my aunt with her kids made me realize that raising children isn't something you do over night. It's a never ending job. From the second the kids wake up, to the second they finally give in and fall asleep, you are teaching them, reasoning with them, making sure they're OK and when they are finally asleep, you have to clean up their mess and prepare for the day after. I now see that I have it easy! Raising one kid is a breeze compared to raising multiples. Seeing this and thinking about how we grew up, I have a new kind of respect for my mother and every mother who is raising multiple children. Being married or having their dad around doesn't mean it's easy. It still is a challenge. I know I didn't make it easier on my mom. Not on purpose, I just didn't know what to do with the things I was feeling. I was mad at my mom too. I guess I blamed her for everything. That was easier. Getting mad at someone on the other side of the world doesn't help. It was easier for me to get mad at my mom. She was there. Compared to a family with 2, 3 or more kids, my life with one is easy. But on its own, it isn't as easy as it may seem. You as a parent are responsible for everything. You need to make sure the kids have a full stomach and a clean diaper before they head to bed. When they're older you have to make sure the kids learn valuable life lessons. You are responsible for their self esteem... and everything else. I just hope I'll be old one day, look at my children and see that they have found their ways in life. That they are happy and that I helped them become the great people that they are. No matter how challenging things have gotten, I hope I will grow enough as a person to give those things to my child(ren) so she/they don't have to go through all the things I went through to learn those lessons. Do you have kids? If so, how many? How do you experience parenthood? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments or go to my contact page to send me an email.
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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