How come I’m so easily depressed? I don’t know.
‘I don’t know’ is a very nice excuse for us so we don’t have to come up with the answer. Why do we use that phrase so often? Does it help us get to the answer quicker? Not at all. Does it help us hide, because we don’t want to know the truth? Why wouldn’t we want to know? If we don’t know the answer to a difficult ( or personal ) question, we tend to turn away from the question and look for a different subject. But the question will most likely linger in your head for a while. Avoiding the question by saying ‘I don’t know’ seems to be the fastest way out. It seems so much easier and it will feel like a solution. But you have just pushed the question away, for it to come back to you sooner or later. We should want to know what is bothering us. We should want to know what the reason is. If we say that we don’t want to know, we’re lying to ourselves. Nobody else will have troubles with it. You will be the only one who feels it. ‘I don’t know’ used to be my favorite answer. To anything. - What do you want to eat? - Where do you want to go? - What’s going on? My other favorite answer was ‘Nothing’. I just didnt want to explain anything to others. But in the mean time i didn’t sit down by myself to explain it to myself either. I was running away from the truth. Now, so many years later, I try to find the answers but when it gets too deep, I still fall back on my ‘I don’t know’. Why? Because I don't want to know the answers. I know why. I am scared to find out what the answers are. The only thing I have to do is keep those three words out of my mind and out of my mouth. Because they are so easily spoken that I don’t have to thing about it. But to answer the question I asked myself earlier. I have two options. Do I hide or do I face the truth? Why am I so easily depressed? - I dont know. - Because of all the things that have happened in the last few years, i’m scared to mess things up and I over think everything way too much. When I see something on TV that reminds me of something I did/said or something that happened to me a while back I relive that moment in my head for a minute and I get that feeling back. Facing the truth feels good. Digging for it might not, but knowing the answer means you don't have to hide from that question ever again. That is a great feeling. Do you have questions you hide from? Do you want to know the answer? Please, share your thoughts/experiences in the comments. Or send me an email ( contact form).
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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