Slice up a cucumber, slightly crush some mint leaves. Put everything in a big jug, add slices of lime, some lemon juice and fill with water. Detox water. Delicious too. But it's not the kind of detox that I've done over the last few weeks.
I started taking steps away from some people in my life. Some very close to me. I had to make a decision. Do I keep pleasing them or will I start doing something for myself? Will I do what will be good for them? Or will I do what is good for me? I decided to be selfish and chose for myself. Something I hadn’t done before. Ever! I always wanted to do what was best for me, as long as it was also good for everybody around me. Looking out for their happiness didn’t make me happy. One person made me feel like I was being slowed down. For as long as I can remember, I have had dreams and plans for my future. I’ve always wanted to be someone GREAT! Someone people would look up to. I want to be on top and look back at my life and say to myself ‘Look where I started and look where I am today.’ I know I can be great. But for some reason I kept looking at someone else to see if they thought I was ready. I want to do things, fast. I know I can do it. I have the drive but I always keep that person in the corner of my eye to see their opinion. Only to see them looking in a different direction. It makes me feel like what I'm doing, isn't worth looking at. It's not interesting enough. So I switch up what I really wanted to do something that might give me their approval. It's been like that for years. So I decided to detox. I have been living so many days without them already. Now that it's my decision I just realize how much pain it's causing me. I've been living in a shadow. Afraid to step into the light. Afraid that that person wouldn't like the way I would take that step. Every decision and step I have taken, I've taken with them in the corner of my eye. Making sure I got their approval. But that approval has been missing for a long time. Because we're so close I felt guilty but I didn't want to fake being happy around them. Their opinion mattered most to me and not getting it, felt like rejection. I read something the other day. 'A toxic environment will literally make you sick. If it doesn't feel right, if it makes you tired or fills you with dread, cut yourself loose'. That's exactly what I had to do. It didn't feel right. I even started feeling uncomfortable around them. When I made the decision to start ‘detoxing’, I cried, a lot. But now I finally did what I had to do to be able to grow in life, I feel liberated and relieved. I prayed about it, asked God what I had to do and I let it go. At first I still wanted to call them and tell them what I wanted to do next, but then I thought about all the times I had before and all the things I got from telling them, which hadn’t been a lot. So I kept my mouth shut. All the times I told them about my plan, I felt like my idea was stupid. Impossible. I even felt that I couldn’t ever get there; everybody else could, except me. They have been holding me back. This morning I was on Pinterest and I saw a picture with the quote: 'take other people’s opinions lightly, very lightly'. I have done everything but take their opinion lightly. Their opinion would make or break my idea. Not anymore. I need someone next to me that pushes me to start. When I've started, I can take it from there but I need that push to get over the threshold. Removing every toxic out of your body of life is never easy. But you need to be healthy. I'm sick of being hold back. I want to move forward. So that's what I will do. I refuse to let anybody hold me back from today on. It might have taken a while for me to figure out what was holding me back, but the people in my life that were holding me back, are going to where they want to be. So why don’t I? I’ve noticed that the people I’ve cut off miss me now I stopped calling. I get random phone calls and text messages, asking me where I’ve been. I’ve been busy. I’ve been working on myself. I’m doing a lot better, because of myself. Because of the choices I made. Choices that weren’t always easy. But choices I had to make. Believe me when I say this: I am going places and you can either come with me and support me along the way, or get out of my way. I may have started in a hole but I’m climbing and I’m not planning on stopping for anything or anyone. Sometimes, detoxing is the best thing to do. It probably is one of the hardest things, but believe me, it’s OK to be selfish once in a while. If you keep making decisions based off what others have to say, you won’t get anywhere in life. There’s a special place reserved for you up there. Don’t stay down here where others can control you. Go up there and shine like the star you are! Be great. We’re all destined to be great so why not do everything we can to be as successful as possible? The whole world can believe in you but if you don’t believe in yourself, nothing will happen. So start believing in yourself! Have you ever had to end a relationship with someone because the relationship you had wasn't healthy? How did you deal with it? Please let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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