Someone pointed out to me that I was so lucky growing up.
I had a lot of pets, including a horse. I went on trips from Holland to California a couple of summers in a row. If I didn’t go to California, I’d go camping with my mom, brother and sister. If you look at it like that, yes, I was really lucky. I had a room to myself. I had a computer on my room before I even knew what Google was. When I was 16 I had a TV, computer and a laptop on my room. Yes, I had a lot of stuff. Stuff. All of those pets and all of those things didn’t make me happy. Not because I wanted more. I wanted something else. I wanted to feel that I lived in a place, a home where I was more than welcome. I guess I was but I had a lot to deal with from an early age that I never saw it for what it was. I would rather be in my room than anywhere else. It was my own space. I used the computer in my room to write. I don’t even know where and how I began to write but I know that I felt happy. I could create a world where the main character was always welcome. Where people would be happy to see her come. A world where she didn’t just fit in, she was part of it. All those vacations with my family were nice, but they mostly turned out to be stressful. The vacation to Croatia was so bad that my mom wanted to take me home early and go back to spend the rest of that vacation with her husband and my sister. So yeah, if you only look at all the stuff I had and things I did, I was probably a very happy child. But if you look beyond the surface… not so much. Having a lot of stuff as a child doesn’t mean they feel happy or loved. I always said I didn’t want to buy my kid too much stuff because I don’t want her to become materialistic. I want her to be happy when we buy her a gift, instead of being disappointed because she wanted something else, something bigger. I want to be the mom that spends time with her child(ren). I was really thinking about getting a job but then I realized, I’m home. Yes, this is getting old but being home with my daughter is a privilege. No matter how much stuff I give her, if I’m not there for her emotionally or if I’m not supporting her the way she needs me to then I will fail her. I want to make sure that the stuff she had growing up isn’t what’s stuck in her memory when she thinks about how lucky or happy she was. I had about 200-300 Barbie’s, I only remember 4 that I actually played with. But I also remember that the times I played with them was when I had no one else to play with. I know I can’t change my past but I can do everything I can possibly do to make sure it won’t happen to my children. I have to make sure of that. Having a lot of things does not equal being happy. I child doesn’t know the difference but don’t shove it down their throats like ‘here’s a new toy, stop complaining about how lonely you feel’. Because without it being said, that’s the feeling they will eventually get. Let me know what your thoughts are on this subject in the comments or in an email. Go to my contact page to send me an email. Or talk to me on Twitter/Facebook. The links are in the sidebar. Don’t forget to post your #MyWeeklySpecial! Have a good week! Oh and one more thing… You’re gorgeous inside and out!
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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