Why do I let certain people disappoint me? Why do I expect so much of them while I know they’ll never live up to it? Probably because I would be willing to do that much for them.
Just because I would run through fire for someone, doesn’t mean that person would do the same for me. But even though I know that, it wouldn’t feel good if I wouldn’t do it if they needed me to. Maybe all it takes for them to see how they treat me, is for me to treat them the same way. If they decide to keep their distance and live their lives, maybe I should do the exact same thing. If they decide to treat me like a stranger for everyday of the month and then act surprised when I’m shocked to see their name on the caller-ID, maybe I should treat them like strangers too. But I’m bigger than that. I don’t want to sink to their level just to prove a point. I want to show them how I feel but in the meantime, I just want to move on from them. I’m tired of trying to make everybody like me. If you don’t now, you probably never will. If you say you do, act like it. I’m not going to sit around and hope for the day that you’ll start showing that you like me. We’re either friends, who can fall back on each other and know the other person will be there whenever you need them, even if we haven’t seen each other for a little while… or we’re not. I’m not going to pretend we’re friends. The ones who don’t talk to each other and don’t even think of each other. The ones who don’t have each other’s back. I’m not going to say we’re one thing while both of us know we’re not. I let certain people disappoint me because I love them. I expect so much of people because I wouldn’t doubt to do that same thing for them if not more. I let certain people disappoint me because I care. Because I want the best for them. If I see that one of my friends is hurt, I will do everything I can to help them. Maybe I’m a fool for expecting the same thing in return. No, I don’t expect the same thing. I expect a certain level of respect in return. I expect the basics of what you can expect from someone. I’m still learning to care about someone from a distance. I like to have the people who own a part of my heart close. I don’t care if I only see you once every 5 years because you live on the other side of the world or if you live across the street and we see each other every morning while we open the curtains. I want to know that that person knows that they can count on me and I want to know that I can count on them. But you can’t. You can’t expect someone to be there for you, no matter what your relationship is with that person. Not your high school best friend or the neighbor you lived next to since you were born. Not even your family. You’ll have to wait and see. Hope for the day that when you need someone, they’ll be there, I guess. I wish I knew how to handle this. I wish I knew what to do with this. But I don’t. I guess you can’t find the answers to everything. But you can learn how to live with it. I know I won’t put people on pedestals just because they’ve been in my life for a long time or we went through something together. I won’t anymore. The higher you put them, the more they can disappoint you. I’ve seen it so many times, so why do I keep putting them up there? It’s easy to say it: I won’t put people on pedestals anymore. I won’t expect anything from people anymore. The truth is, it isn’t that easy. I know I will keep putting people on pedestals because I truly believe they deserve to be up there. Even though they kick me every time they fall off. I’ll just have to learn how to keep my expectations low. Please share your thoughts in the comments. You know I’d really love to hear what you think! You can also email me by filling in the contact form on the contact page. Or talk to me on Twitter @uGottaLoveAimee or Facebook @ Straight Thinking. (My Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are all in the sidebar, just click on the button and it will take you there ;D) I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else.
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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