So, last week I made a promise to myself and I started doing a few things I haven’t done in a long time.
I went to the hairdresser where I walk past every week. Every time I look inside and think about what I want to do with my hair. Last Thursday, I cooked and as soon as we finished our diner, I went to there and I let her cut and dye my hair. Something new, brown. I hadn’t ever had that and I wasn’t sure if it would look as good as I hoped but it turned out to look better. Two days later my friend came by the house and she braided my hair. Yesterday I went shopping. I bought a dress that I don’t even need but I loved it. I bought myself a Gucci perfume and I didn’t even care about the price. I bought something for myself. Something that I don’t need. But something that makes me feel special. I’ve been talking to a friend and she gave me the best advice. She told me that I’m the boss. I’m in charge. And I’ve been living by that this week. I’m in charge of how I feel. I’m in charge of myself and my life. Feeling good about myself has nothing to do with buying new clothes or expensive stuff but I needed a moment. I always tell myself that, if I don’t need it, I won’t buy it. But that also causes me not to buy the things that I want just because I like it. I deserve everything and more. I just have to give it to myself. So that’s what I started to do. I woke up happy this morning. I was tired but I didn’t feel the need to turn on the TV in the bedroom so my daughter could watch her show and I could snooze for another 30 minutes. We got up immediately and cuddled on the couch and ate breakfast. Today felt so much different from any other day of the past month. I’m even smiling. For no apparent reason. I feel some kind of joy. It feels like I’m one step closer to happiness. Last week I thought of my future and I didn’t know if I wanted to be around to live it. But I’m sitting here, thinking about what my life can look like in a few years. For some reason, it doesn’t look anything like how I pictured it last week. It looks good. I see myself being happy. Truly happy. Not this fake happy I’ve been for a long time. I just need to remind myself that I’m in charge of my happiness. Nobody else will make me happy if I can’t make myself happy. And I won’t able to make someone else happy if I’m not happy either. But, before I start thinking about making someone else happy… me first! I’m going to be very selfish for a while. Get myself on track. Get my smile back, permanently. Show my baby girl what her mom looks like when she’s herself. Show myself what I look like when I’ve found myself again. Believe me when I say this: The ‘me’ I lost, looks good! And I will not stop until I found her again and I will not lose myself after that, ever again! Please remember this: You’re in charge. You are the boss! Don’t ever forget that. Please share your thoughts/experiences in the comments. Or fill in the contact for to email me. Orrr tag me @uGottaLoveAimee I love you! I hope you love you too!
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AuthorMy passion is writing. I started writing stories when I was only 6 years old and I still do it today. Blogging is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so here we are. Archives
July 2017
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